this is not dramatic at all.
currently listening to: I Love You [Joanna Wang]

the difference between a kid and an adult is that.
there is no one who will tell your story.
there is no superman outside the window.
there is no friends forever every minute of the day.

run run run. stop.
run run. stop.
you've reached the end of the road, with a u-turn at your convenience.
so you run run run. stop.
you're back again.
with a u-turn at your convenience of course.
but you wonder if there's any sense in reaching the end now.
there is no way to run off to anywhere.

this is not a drama.
this is not dramatic.
there is no one who will wipe away the tears.
there is no one who will stand firmly on your side.
there is no hard work that pays off.
there is no third-person perspective of the story.
or maybe there is.

then you are bent on asking him up there whether you're the sinner.
but you think you know what he will say.
because there are rules to this game.
everyone he watches over plays by the same rules.
and you already know what they say.

you think you're vicitmised.
but no, everyone's victimised.
somehow you are told to be the saint that everyone isn't.
why?, they ask like they don't understand, why can't you?
you should change, they shake their heads, you should be rid of your wrongs.
and then you look back at how far you've come in this... cleansing conquest.
and you can only stare blankly at how they are talking right over your head, talking to the you at the starting point.

you think you're quite sick of how this whole thing works.
you trip over a rock and you know you'll trip over more.
but you've given up on the storyteller, the superman, and the friends forever.
so you trip, get up, and trip, trip, get up, trip again.
don't mind the trips because you know you'll get up.
and because you know there's no way to stop tripping in the first place.

so there is just you.
just you who should get into the game.
just you whom when everyone says you're wrong.
you try to meet their expectations.

basically the difference between a kid and an adult is.
reality.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。