wah seh. i can't believe i'm hearing this song only after so long.
it was okay initially. i heard it on the radio and it was rather catchy. listened to it for a couple of days without really making out the lyrics. but when i finally read the lyrics, i just couldn't stop my tears.
am i too emo? the kind of helplessness and sadness really got to me. and occasional flashbacks of my grandpa. i cried really hard and then just sat there a little stunned.
i was so overwhelmed by the sadness and desperation in the song. i guess anyone who had lost their loved ones would surely be moved. so will anyone who may be counting down already.
it's funny how we always regret our choices cuz we think the other way would work better. why, do we know the what's in store if things happened the other way? so how can we say for sure that it'll work better?
like we always used to complain about my grandma's nagging and how nice it'd be if she had a better temper. but is it better to have a grandma who complains all day long or a grandma with a 'better temper' because she's not working her mind anymore?
then again i understand the tendency to hope for the better. like how i hope that i can finish all my revision and assignments fast so i can have more time to try to spark her memory. but it's impossible because of my ridiculously short concentration span and my wonderful ability to foul up my assignments so i have to do it over and over again. you have no idea how inadequate if feels to have to repeat assignments already done to try to reach the standard. how stupid it feels to have to read the same sentence over and over again in order for it to register in my head. and my super short memory doesn't help- and i mean short memory because i can't even remember many of the supposedly significant moments in my life.
it's a mad rush because i made it so. it is me. i want to have more time. i could have so much more time. but it is me.
are we really asking for too much? when the whole world is asking for so much in a performance-oriented society ...how?
anyway, i lost my phone. i also got a summon.
記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
1:48 PM
Joanna Wang. currently listening to: Vincent [Joanna Wang]
like a cool sea breeze amidst summer.
記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。
Monday, February 23, 2009
9:18 PM
yes, ocassional ramblings are good for the body. currently listening to: Nothing [Dropped Dead]
i've been meaning to blog about something for some time but time kinda takes away the fervour i had for doing so.
let's just say i'll never look at koreans the same way again. like i told yiling, my beliefs have totally been debunked like how the world felt when they discovered the earth isn't flat.
anyways, i meant to blog about broadcast journalism this time.
a few weeks into the course and i see for myself what a *toot* of a job it is. it does have its kicks, which includes:
making new acquantainces everyday. becoming more discerning in my judgement of people. not that hesitant about speaking to strangers. thinking on my feet to respond to *toot* situations. forced to wake up early everday (yes it's good). crash course on the camera and fcp software. cherishing time so so so much more.
the effort behind every single aspect is incredible. i shall never think lightly of a reporter or a newscaster ever again because their job requires much more professionalism than i ever thought possible.
all the while i complained about the impossible workload for the sem, then i realised that the rest of my schoolmates are into as much *toot* as me. the fact that they don't really let it show or even complain about it as much, makes me wonder if i should be feeling so shagged this semester.
everyone's tired.
but i guess it'd be worth it if i managed to get something out of these. much of my mods requires speech & presentation, and i wonder if it's working out since i still get lost for words when i meet someone intimidating. it's kinda funny to realise i'm intimidated more by my schoolmates than all the supposed big-shots that i have to interview. haiya, it's weird lah i also dunno why.
whatever works lah for this semester. i'm so beyond harping on the grades right now.
those on exchange should be so thankful. cherish your time there okay!! especially jiepi and huichun and qq, i'm still waiting to hear from you guys ne~
記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
12:17 AM
why do i feel like i owe the whole world a living? currently listening to: Nothing [Dropped Dead]
you know what?
i think i'm getting too complainative for my own good. it's irritating the hell out of me too.
but i guess i'm human after all. there are some things that... i just can't do better.
and i've been saying sorry way too many times. do i owe anybody in fact? for the fact that i've got so many things to handle i can't think straight and i can't take care of everyone's needs and i can't even get enough rest to last a day?
if so then i must have been wrong right from the start. now is that enough for a mess?
i really don't wanna grumble anymore.
記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
11:57 PM
whines. currently listening to: Nothing [Dropped Dead]
i must be kidding when i said the previous semesters were tough. cuz right now i feel like a 20-year-old girl in a 70-year-old body. and every day is a reminder of how inadequate i still am. the strain is really quite something that i'm rather surprised i managed to drive to school and back in one piece.
5 w-inds. singles this semester. definitely.
thank god for these photos that cans till make my day. you have no idea man.
keita and his football team FC 9rinrin won some big soccer tournament in japan! i'm really amazed at how he finds motivation in sticking to his goals. 不愧是我偶像ne~
AND AND AND AND!
keita's gonna act in a drama soon!!! *squeals*
i am so so so so thrilled. fangirl mode totally.
even though it's just a short cellphone drama, i very nearly flipped when i heard the news. honestly, i'm not exactly confident of his acting... but i really really want him to do well since it'll mean more opportunities for w-inds. in the industry.
so yeah man!! i'm totally excited. *BIG SMILE*
oh well, this is gonna be what's keeping me going for the semester. so please let me at least dream about them everynight or another. macey would do too. anything will be better than nightmares about missing BJ deadlines.
......
i've said this a million times but still: 5 weeks in school feels like 5 months in school. time has never been this slow. yet i still can't find time to study?
