okayy. it's the usual schoolwork paranoia again.

currently listening to: Nothing [yep.]

note: pardon the language.

crap.
i just slacked all the way the moment i got back home.

I NEED TO START STUDYING.
look at the crap A-level results tpjc's got.
*shakes head*

what am i still doing here.

i gotta start now lar.
i just know it.
it's probably a little late in the year even if i start now too.

i can't understand.

why is it that i always have to lie down on the sofa, grab a few pieces of bakua, switch on the telly and end up sitting there for 2 hours everyday when i get home from school?

why is it that my marks are at 'a state of rest' despite my efforts in trying to refine and improve essay after essay? i keep getting the same mark for history and literature and GP. not that they are bad, but it's just that they are not good. this is only gonna get me a C if it continues!!

why is it that i have no idea how to go about doing my work and revising? there is just so much homework everyday and before i can clear them, more comes piling in. what happened to the time for revision? am i really that slow on completing my assignments? 1 history outline and 1 chinese paper and it's 1am in the morning already. ...this is bad. really bad.

why is it that this stupid THC thingy is always taking up so much of my time when i'm suppose to be just a mentor-coordinator? i mean, look at the RJ and VJ MCs! they don't look as harrassed by MC duties as i am. it's either that they are supermen or it's just that i am overly-sensitive. why don't i just let mentoring rot in one corner since despite trying my best to engage and coordinate with the mentors and mentees for mentoring, I STILL GET THE SCOLDING AND THE COLD TREATMENT IN THE END. might as well not do anything and still get the scolding. i'm feeling completely unjustified. there goes my effort. there goes the reputation of tpjc mentors that i've tried hard to maintain. there goes the nice remarks in my resume (right now, i can't care less about anything other than this since these people are not giving a damn about 'reputations' anyway).

but one more month.
JUST ONE MORE MONTH.
and i'll be OUT OF THC FOREVER!!!!!
WOOHOOO!!!!

*jumps around*

i'm just dreading and dreading the THC exco meeting this sunday.
since they just scolded us two days ago, i don't expect it to be a nice session of updating and coming up with suggestions anymore.
argh.

why the stupid toots did i choose the THC scheme.

anyways.
condolences to those tpjc seniors who didn't do well.
the world keeps moving.
you gotta move on.
even if it means skipping university or repeating your 'A's privately.

yep.
i just hope i can say this to myself when it's my turn next year.

okay.
i'm worried.
I NEED TO STUDY.

as if that's not a point already made.
sheesh.
i am long-winded.

but!
nonetheless...
something nice happened today.
=)

you can always make me smile.
even if you don't know it.
in fact you are the only one who can.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。