save me

currently listening to: Taisetsu Na Negai [Nanaka 6/17]

05A02. i don't know ANYONE who's going to the same class as me. and i'm meeting my class the first thing tomorrow.

i think i have a rough idea of who the hsc people in the same class as me are, though i've not confirmed it yet, but... they're all from the first 3 months in tpjc! so this probably means i either fit in or get left out. and you know how bad that is. =(

i must mention again how much i hate starting over. and i am starting to have a bad feeling about taking so many subjects.

self-confidence = 0%

plus i can't believe how small the arts fac in tpjc is. around 100 students only??? man, acjc arts fac is at least 5 times of this. this probably means only 1 in every 10 students in tpjc is an arts student, and the other nine science peeps. everyone i made friends with so far is a SCIENCE student. now you see what i mean.

talk about being outnumbered. it is THAT bad.

thinking back, making friends in acjc was kinda hard too. it takes alot of time and effort to gain trust. if Zhen Yin wasn't there to accompany during all the break periods during the first few weeks, i'll probably die of loneliness. maybe it's a little better in tpjc since some haisians are there. but i feel kinda guilty at clinging onto them all day, and it gets kinda dots when there are still differences between arts and science students.

luckily i had michelle and hafezah around these few days. but they're not gonna be around anymore!!! they're taking geography so we're in different classes -___-. the disadvantages of a history student.

so tomorrow's gonna be a really trying day for me. in fact, for the rest of the week too, and maybe the entire year, or even worse, my life in tpjc. how i wish the seeds of independence were planted in me a long time ago.

my life is diminishing and i dread the dawn.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。