currently listening to: Easy Breezy [Utada Hikaru]

dots.

nobody would believe me when i say i had a C5 for English. the first thing they say when they meet me, " hey xinyi! A2 right?!?!"

sigh. the unseen pressure acting on one when this happens, worse still, this happens ALL the time. fine, i admit i have the looks of an A-grade nerd but i am definitely NOT SMART.

English. ARGH!! C5!!!

feeling *toot* over this. no, not because i worked so hard yet achieved such a grade. no, not because i had pinned high hopes on getting an A for this subject either. it's because....

i did nothing for this subject, other than the fact that i am having weekly tuition, which i 'try my best' to postpone for as many times as possible.

dreaming of going to TJC?? DREAM ON!!!!

C5 for English and D7 for maths (i haven't actually receive my maths results but i am SO CONFIDENT that i will fail the paper outright, and i am defintely not surprised if i end up last for maths in the whole Sec 4 standard) = 12.

12, is definitely not the kinda mark you wanna get for only TWO subjects (not to mention u have the other 4 to add to it too) if you are aiming for TJC. ARGH!!!! i have no chance at all. NO CHANCE.

BLOWN.

the depressing fact that i am receiving my maths results tomorrow isn't exactly what one may consider comforting either. *note: PIPI. please be reminded to be prepared to treat me to a Mcdonalds EVM tomorrow.

now maths is another subject that i have not touched at all during the holidays, the period where i exercised fully my hidden-and-will-only-surface-once-every-million-years 'A-grade nerd spirit' and worked my brains off trying to study for the prelims by cramming in everything at the last minute due to guilt for lazing around for the whole of the term(i can bet you that no one is gonna believe i only studied during the holidays, much as i tried to put this point across so many times).

not touching maths when maths has always been the bane of my life since the day i stepped into primary school and got whacked on the butt with a ruler by the teacher for not being able to answer a question when asked to go out to the board and solve it in P3, then finally promoted to P6 where i spent many happy days copying maths homework from my best buddy cum maths genius, Mr Low Chen Sheng, who had been posted to Damai Secondary School instead, much to my despair because i lost a potential friend who could 'HELP' me in maths. hey bud, can you apply for a transfer to HSC? or maybe they can make special arrangements for us to sit next to each other so we can erm... help each other.

i must be the stupidest person alive. not studying maths for prelims... what was i thinking?? but somehow i have a feeling that even if i did study my maths, i will STILL be unable to pass the Maths Prelims.

hmm.. maybe i made a wise choice.

considering the fact that everyone who stepped out of the hall on that fateful day had the comment, " oh man! i could have scored for the paper if it was not that tedious! give me more time!!", while i was desperately thinking to myself, " GOD. that was the most difficult paper i have ever sat for. i dunno how to do!! give me one year i also will fail one!!!" (*note: standard english does not apply to me when i am in state of desperation), i think i am more than confirm dead for my Maths Prelims. i just hope i won't score less than a D7.

*prays sincerely to god* AMEN!

i can bet my life that nobody is going to believe i am going to fail my maths, just even though i have stressed a thousand one times that i am definitely not good in my maths. plus i am definitely going to receive a million and one more comments saying, " hey xinyi! A2 for english right???!!!"

i think i better bring my boxing gloves along the school tomorrow to erm...

let off steam.


--------------------------------------

Letter Of Application to Withdraw from Education System

Pupil's Name : Lim Xinyi
Date of Birth: 22/11/1988
Standard : Sec 4
School: Hai Sing Catholic

Reason: i failed my maths. and i messed up my english too.

yours sincerely
lim xinyi

*note: to anyone who might take this 'letter' seriously, i am just letting off steam.
i don't have the guts to do it lah!! *sobx*

pardon me.


記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。