Monday, October 12, 2020
12:16 AM
self.
currently listening to: Nothing [Nothing]
scary how almost 6 years has passed and here we are again.
i thought it was behind us.
but it never was.
maybe there never was a reason why i should expect so.
we did not wrap things up.
we only moved on, we did not end things.
who is to say, how it might have become.
but that is not a reason to descend.
that does not become an excuse to blame our frustrations or predicament on.
perhaps it compounds, but it does not make us, or break us.
we break us.
we break us with our thoughts.
we break us with our words.
we break us with the way we take in the world.
we break us because we could not find a way.
i'm starting to think of the concept of selfishness and selflessness.
what is selfless to one, could be selfish to others.
what is selfish to one, could be selfless to others.
we don't hold anyone to our standards.
no one should be held to anyone's standards.
who has the bigger heart.
who has the nerves of steel.
who has the strength to press on.
who has the courage to let go.
i think the world used to be alot simpler.
maybe we used to be alot simpler.
humans feel too much.
we feel.
we do.
in the end, i'll be left to deal with it.
the loss.
the pain.
are they being selfish?
or am i being selfish?
no one should be held to anyone's standards.
no one should live for anyone.
am i selfish if i want them to?
why must i be selfless?
this life.
just can you please.
let everyone know that you are worth it.
that even if we have to grovel through what we think is shit.
this life is worth it.
i can only do so much.
i will do whatever it takes.
because i'll hurt when you're hurt.
your life is yours.
just like my life is mine.
i hoped to be an anchor, but ultimately i wasn't.
in the end, it's just me.
and they think too highly of me.
記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。
