i should grab it firmly in my hands.
currently listening to: Ariamaru Tomi[Shiina Ringo]

if i say.
there are two sides to this world. from any perspective.
and today, the two sides to this world are the happy side and the sad side.
how many people do you think will be on either side?
because today i see 1 on the sad side, and the whole world on the other.

that 1 is not me, but i nearly cried.
i wish i can say 'hang on!' with a tad more insistence... i know it's hard.
words can only do so much.
or rather, i can only do so much.

you've not reached a dead-end.
despite all the walls that you seem to just crash into, you've not hit a dead-end.
everything happens for a reason.
and i like to think that they happen only to make you stronger.

i dunno.
seems like life tends to become bleak when you know it's reaching an end.
that's how they usually paint the picture. in black and white.
but i always thought that that life should be more colorful.
because the simplest things in life will light up and dazzle.

for most who can't see the end of the road, the journey becomes dull and dreadry with every step, bogged down by the arduous task of having to move forward with the years. they take it for granted because they can't see when all these will come to a glorious end.

but for one who has the end in sight, the journey has more kick. perhaps a little bit of hesitation at pit stop 1 and a little bit of angst at pit stop 2 and a little bit of pain at pit stop 3, but the knowledge that it will be over soon should make them treasure the journey even more.

and that's what matters isn't it?
the journey and whether you enjoyed it.
is the most important thing in this world.

i dunno.
but this is my theory at my year 20 and 6 months running.
it's kinda like the cup theory: half-filled or half-empty.
i hope you can understand my entry this time.

i've given you alot of i'll-be-here-for-yous and hang-in-theres.
but i know there's no logic in these, though i really meant them.
this time, i'll feel the pain with you.
i'll cry when you cry, scream when you scream, despair when you despair.
and finally smile when you smile.
tomodachi dakara.

as for the other side of the world today, the happy side.
i've seen that side today too.
so when both sides collided in front of my eyes.
in that instant.
there was an urge to treasure it all.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。