blabberr.
currently listening to: Built to Last [Melee]

it's recess, it's recess and i'm slacking awayy~~

well, not exactly slacking, but i'm doing everything else other than revision. even when i finally have some time to revise i'm typing away at the computer like right now. but let's not go into this like i've done a hundred over times before.

recently, i've been working on the alumni section of the SCI newsletter. i thought it was a pretty *toot*toot* job at first, but i'm starting to think that maybe it's not so bad after all. i tend to think alot when i look at the interviews done with them and the photos they provided for feature. right now, it may seem like 4 years is so far away from me and i'm completely apprehensive about how things will turn out in the future. but the idea that life will turn out well is getting stronger. even though there may be a whole lot of hardships ahead, we'll get to somewhere somehow.

still, i'm praying for my major alumni feature to be settled soon. it's the only thing left on my back right now: PLEASE GIMME A REPLY SOON MS SERENA!!!! *pleads*

recently, i'm beginning to understand the 'perversity' term that we used to study in gothic literature. i guess it really comes with age (not that i'm that old) where your thoughts tend to get complicated and go haywire and you still think it's okay. i'm having these really weird thoughts (many of which have been translated into action) recently like, deliberately creating awkwardness when i actually want to avoid it, or purposely annoying someone when i really meant to be nice, or just trying to be late when it was crucial for me to be punctual... i just feel like making mistakes when i can well avoid it.

i was having my driving test last monday and i came to a sharp bend in the road. i saw the bend from afar and i knew i should slow down and perhaps shift gear else it would cost me lots of demerits, but i just didn't want to do it. part of my brain was screaming out for me to slow down but the other half was tempting me to make the mistake. so woooosh~* i went round the bend at 50km/h... luckily i still managed to pass the test.

i've no idea what's going through my head. but in any case i'm quite sure i shouldn't be allowed to go on like this.

ehh, since i have time to blabber on, i might as well continue with it. i'll most prolly disappear for some time anyway.

a few types of people who make me really annoyed:

1. I'm Busier Than You.
well, it happens. sometimes it's better to blog about how busy you are than chat with someone about it. it's suppose to be a form of stress release isn't it? how would you feel when you've only just started to comment on a single arduous task (out of the many) and you're interrupted halfway with "haiya, you can't be busier than me. i have blahblahblahblah..." *rolls eyes* i wasn't trying to compare who's the busier one, i was just trying to tell you that i'm having a busy time and there you go telling me how much busier you are. and how do you know i can't be as busy or even busier? it's like telling me to shut up cuz my complaints aren't worth listening to. my attempt to share my troubles has 'evolved' into a session where i become Aunt Agony. and yep, i'm not busy, not busy at all.

2. Didn't You Know?
i can't recall how many times this has happened. you comment about how interesting something is, and another person goes "you don't know meh? i knew it since blahblahblah..." helllooo, i don't care about WHEN i came to know it, i was merely commenting on how interesting it is. worse when i'm actually aware and was just pointing it out to start on a conversation topic and i get slapped in the face by such a remark. yeah, so the point is that i'm a mountain tortoise right?

3. I Can't Appreciate Your Joke
not that i expect anyone to laugh at all of my jokes (often poorly attempted), but to ignore? it should be known by now that i absolutely hate to be ignored intentionally; it's utter disrespect for me as an individual, much less as a friend. it also irks me when i try to make a joke to loosen up a heavy atmosphere and someone gives me a stare and says "what's wrong with you." it's not like i WANT to joke for the sake of it; i can well keep quiet and that's probably worse because then everyone will prolly think that i'm having a bad hair day. i don't ask for laughter but to appear irritated? you think i'm that free to want to entertain and annoy you?

the list goes on.

okay i'm starting to reveal the evil side of me. sometimes tolerance is necessary, though it oftens leads to unhealthy relationships.

on with work, tonnes of work.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。