this time.
currently listening to: I Dunno [I Don't Care]

shall never let myself want to make anyone proud again.
shall never think the world of anyone anymore.
shall never be reliant on anyone ever again.

it's all a facade.
not a single one is worth it.

i wonder when i learnt to just ignore.
i wonder when i gave up on correcting misunderstandings.
i wonder when i lost the ability to articulate my sorrows.

i keep saying to myself:
"last one, this is the last cry."
but it just wouldn't stop.

they didn't see anything.
whatever i did, thought, felt.
rubbish. i was wasting my time. a one-man show.
make them proud?
they don't give a shit about it.

like they don't give a shit about why i do the things i do.

i was an idiot for all those tears and guilt.
i don't know what i was working so hard for.
why must i?

learn to live for yourself.
no one's worth it other than yourself.

and i wonder why i'm becoming so self-centred.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。