rambling on and on and on...
currently listening to: 我不想忘记你 [郭静 ]

huahh... this song is really nice.

a couple of things learnt over the past week:

1. driving after classes is torturing.
2. going back from ubi to hostel is even more torturing.
3. then again, going back to hall on sunday nights is much much more depressing.

conclusion being, i don't really like stepping into ntu.

classes have been interesting, but there's this basic media writing course that's kinda discouraging because i realised that i'm really really bad at writing leads. and leads are like... the crux of any article you read, so i guess it might take alot alot alot of work if i ever consider venturing into journalism. it's really quite discouraging because i keep getting the idea that i'm really in the wrong course: 0 obervation skills, 0 lead-writing skills, 0 critical perspectives, 0 guts to express my own views.

and i haven't really widened my social circle much, especially when i missed all the orientations, and am so bogged down by the schedule that i rarely have time to participate in any of the school activities. DRIVING, clashes with everything that they plan, ie, i'm having driving lessons whenever they have events.

which reminds me of the previous driving lesson i had: the instructor said i was really bad that day! i was making all the mistakes i didn't use to make. to think he had commented that i was quite gifted at driving during our first few lessons; i totally blew the image i had with him. and it is NOT OKAY because practical test is just NEXT THURSDAY and i only have one more lesson left to correct all my mistakes.

i wanna pass driving, i wanna pass driving.... *chants*

anyways, moving on to destress, i just saw TVXQ's live performance of Summer Dream and it was really cute! i can totally understand why the whole world's in love with them, much as i don't quite like the idea of joining in the crowd. it's an addiction, seriously. the moment i start looking at their news or their videos, i just keep looking at more. i wonder what it is that really attracts us to them; personality? looks? music? performances? why is it that everything they do just gets us so interested? with w-inds., it was kinda exclusive because there were many people who thought otherwise of them (thus the small fanbase), but with TVXQ is like whoa! everyone loves them, they took the entire asia. why the difference?

i'm starting to think that perhaps SM is a genius at marketing.

at this point, my friends will all be rolling their eyes at the above paragraph. *evil laughter* i don't think they really understand why i'm so obsessed with w-inds. and tvxq, much as they are fully aware of the EXTENT of which i'm crazy over them.

we had a gathering last friday to celebrate alrina's birthday. a combination of pigs co and lamer gang. as usual it was all the crap talk and lame jokes that had us talking non-stop from city hall back home. on the way back home, i took a look at all of them and realised that this are the friends that would stick with me for my entire lifetime. i guess everyone has a group of friends who will never break away no matter how time passes, and no matter at which point of time you wish to return to them, there will never be fears that you won't be able to fit back into the group. it's almost like a split personality; the way i am with them and the way i am without them.

when did i start hiding myself? the more you hide, the more you aren't yourself, and the more your friends become totally different as well. thank god that i was myself when i met juliana and regina, thank god that i was myself when i was totally enthusiastic about the formation of pigs co., thank god i was myself when i was laming around with the lamer gang... thank god i was myself back then.

give thanks~~ with a grateful heart~~ *hums*

i'm reminded of the friends i've let down, in a really nasty and unreasonable manner. i cringe just to recall the stupid reasons i broke off ties with them for. for pride? for indignance? for guilt? that's why i say, i'm really a bad friend, and to still be surrounded by so many sincere friends is probably the greatest blessing i can ever have.

one day i shall apologise to all the three of them.

wonder if any of them are in ntu right now?

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。