i still don't know what to do so please do not disturb.
currently listening to: Baby Don't Cry [Amuro Namie]

i'm very confused.
no, i'm more than confused, i'm to the point of wanting to tear out my hair.

i never thought of career prospects, i just wanted to do something i am interested in. but parents expect you to do something that can confirm you a good career in the future.

...like LAW.

just when i thought everything was settled and i had finally found a course that i wanted to go into, they tell me i should do LAW. just when i was getting kinda flustered when mr dan called and sounded shocked that i didn't apply for any scholarship, they tell me i should do LAW with the reason that ANYONE can do communications but NOT EVERYONE can do LAW without qualifications.

i can't get my butt into the LAW faculty with AAAB2.

something i tried to explain but to no avail. i had never even imagined myself doing law so how can make a decision with only a few days left to the closing of applications! no interest, none at all. LAW??? siao lah. it's as impossible as getting into medicine.

and for some reason, which i suspect is closely linked to oligopolistic competition, all the universities are having their open house on the SAME DAY SAME TIME. some more siao people over there. frankly, the government should do something to stop such unhealthy competition because it exposes us students, the supposed future pillars of singapore, to the possible risk of missing out critical information that could affect our future paths and determine whether we can be genuine concrete 'pillars' instead of those makeshift ones you see on film settings. guess this means some of us are bound to end up being carried around as stage props.

AND THEN, i'm killing more brain cells thinking of the possible scholarships to apply. most of them come with bonds (realiiiiistic people) other than some kind exceptions like the NY Scholarship, which i think is pretty impossible to get so i shan't even try. AND, most of them require 'S' paper qualifications so 3As are worth like... peanuts? *starts to regret not trying for econs 'S' paper*

and look, people confirm their courses before they apply for their scholarships. and what am i doing here? i had never intended to apply for scholarships even if i did well, but now to think of it, i would be wasting my parents' money unneccessarily if i didn't. it'll also be a waste of those 3 As and the 'tpjc top arts student' label.

BUT THERE WILL BE INTERVIEWWWWS.
*starts to freak out and envisions failure*

i'm just so exhausted from work. and now i realised that i haven't finished contacting the 2e4 people for the gathering. this is just great and i'm going to fall asleep while trying.

please pardon the rants. and the english.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。