2007, here i come~~
currently listening to: Hawaian Couple [Humming Urban Stereo]

Happy 2007 !!!

recalling 2006, it was a rather tiring year, with the stress and the workload and the self-reprimanding, mostly stemming from the dreaded A's that we're so thankfully done with. well, maybe not really 'done with' considering we haven't received our results... but at least the mugging is over, and the mugging is what i consider the real ordeal.

2006 was spent in school, by the study desks, and on the bed with hardly any dreams at all cuz your head's too filled with the books. i wonder why i didn't get nightmares... i guess it's just in me to not let anything disturb my sleep, even if it means that two alarm clocks had very unfortunately sounded their last in their attempt to wake me up. and then there came the first major major test in life that would probably decide whether you make it to your dreams or just be forced to get contented with some sideline job that you'd never imagined yourself undertaking. ahh.. maybe there's still a chance of retaking the exam, but for a weak-willed person like me, i might not be able to get out of the dissapointment to be of much use at all. but let's leave that till march shall we.

and i would say 2006 was a year of sacrifices. i have to admit that i did not sacrifice as much as i ought to, with my routine (and very frequent) usage of the computer and prolonged sleeping hours... BUT, there was the significant reduction in time spent on anime and manga, doramas, w-inds.-ing and staring blankly into space (which is one of my favourite past times). so significant that i found it hard to get back on track sometimes. can you believe there was a reduction in w-inds.-ing? *knocks myself on the head* there must be something seriously wrong with my mental condition.

time spent with friends would be another sacrifice that was made, i would say, rather subconsciously. everyone's busy and stressed up with school that 2006 really was a year with very minimal outings and hanging out with friends. other than with my happy family (most of the time spent together was during study too), i felt like i haven't seen the pigs and the lamer gang for years. regina and juliana... well, they came over to study all the time but i don't think we had really gone out on a real outing then. so 2006 was really spent with the books, and the notes, and more books and notes. we all developed strong and flexible wrists, mastered the skill of writing at lightning speed, perfected the art of time management, invented numerous ways of staying awake during late nights, had our brain expanded by a few millimetres, and all these was exhausted in a 39-hour exam that we end up having much regrets about (at least for me). and for these 39 hours i used up approximately 7200 hours that could have been spent to make me happier hanging out with my treasured friends.

and also with family. cuz i'm always at the study table while they are all having a nice chat in the living room. not to mention my very frequent tantrums when i get too stressed up by the workload.

well, we all gotta comply with life. a thought that has been going through my mind many many times since the exams are over. sacrifices are inevitable, but at least i got to make up for it. there was a tad more family time than usual. and the post-exam days were really... spent outside the house. *muahahhaa*

so what will be in store for me in 2007? i'm expecting major change, major disappointments, major setbacks, and a lot of growth. it might be a rather pessimistic outlook of the year, but knowing myself, i'm very sure, almost 90% sure, that all my predictions will come true. but i'm also thinking that maybe these won't be such bad things after all cuz i really need to grow up soon.

5 years, or maybe just 2 years ago, i would never imagine myself wanting to grow up. if there's anything i really hate, then i would say i can't stand change. i hate it when friends become different, when surroundings become alien, when the dreams that you shared with your friend years ago now become seen as childish by the latter. i totally detested the fact that things around me are changing and this has happened so many times. so much as i've tried to remain the same to everyone and everything else, insisted on using the same things and having the same interests for as long as i could, everything and everyone else is still changing... including me. and then there's the nagging thought that i'm being left far behind from the world's pace.

we gotta deal with change, much as i still really dislike it. maybe it's the tough year i've had, but i'm really finally starting to comply with the fact. it's the cowardice and fear of having the face up to the significance of change that i'll have to overcome. it's the independence that i'll have to learn. it's the perseverance and determination that i'll have to pick up. it's the growing up that i'll finally have to accept.

and 2007 will be the year where it all starts.

ahh... i'm hoping that this might actually be a positive statement more than a normative one. because i usually end up deviating far far away from my original aim for every year. resolutions? umm... to get a job, to spend more time with family and friends, to never stop w-inds.-ing, to learn as much as i can.

hopefully.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。