i'm just very stressed up okay.

currently listening to: White Light [Namie Amuro]]

okay.
17 days to prelims.
54 days to graduation
70 days to a levels.

i need at least 23 days for minimal revision for all my 4As and 2 AOs.
but i have only 17 days to do it.

and i can only extend the revision times to two times of going over my revision before my first a level paper, and two times is not exactly what you should be doing if you're aiming for ABBD.

i feel like giving up for the prelims then preparing straight for the a levels since i don't have enough time anyway. but again, the prelims is my last chance of gauging my standards. if i pass it away just like that, i might be studying blindly without customizing my studies to exactly what i need to score for the alevels. i might not even know what hit me if i really do flunk my alevels. *touch wood*

i.e. it's very risky cuz you won't feel prepared for a major exam at all.

and i'm very sick of people telling me that i will be doing okay in the a levels. you have no idea about my luck with exams. not all nerds score in exams. even the teachers are not saying this, obviously because i'm still not good enough. no such stuff please cuz i don't want to be faced again with the look of disbelief on people's faces when i inform them about my crappy results. it really does alot to your pride.

anyway.

i don't feel like going to school. like deborah said, we probably won't have enough time to finish studying if we continue going to school and returning home totally fagged and in no condition to start studying at all. today i got home earlier for once at 3pm and was so exhausted that i blatantly snoozed till 8pm-- gone is the time for precious study. how to prepare for the prelims liddat?

BUT again there will always be important stuff that you miss when you skip school, so i guess it's all a matter of measuring your opportunity costs. you can't have the best of both worlds. so now i wonder what i'll be choosing.

gosh, i think i'm getting crankier by day.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。