sweeet.

currently listening to: Gift [w-inds.]

awWw... i am overwhelmed by this unbelievable sense of sweetness right now...

he's so sweeet!! (nope not my imaginary boyfriend if you are as dots enough to even think i have one.)

awwWW...
awwWWWWwww...
aWWwwwwWWwwwwww....

i have a completely different impression of him right now. my next idol of the year! can't believe i actually know someone like that. awWw...

ok enough of awWwing. what am i doing here at 2.30am in the middle of the night? rushing my GP reading articles and w-inds.-ing away on the net of course (though the latter seem to be taking up most of the time). i have successfully downloaded 4 songs from the album Ageha as well as a bunch of TV interviews of w-inds.!! *so happy*so happy*



and 'Gift' is such a nice song. 'Ageha' is beginning to get to me too because i hear myself subconsciously humming the song wherever i go. told you guys w-inds. songs have a strange and powerful appeal to me. ^^

i bet lynette will be sighing away at my obsession right now. hmphh.

so i went back to school for Literaure and Economics remedial yesterday morning. Literature was a waste of my time-- i just don't see the point of seating there and recapitulating all the stuff that we already know, while there are tons of stuff that we have yet to be taught. and my depressing grade for my very first PC essay is telling me straight in the face : "DROP LIT GIRL. YOU CANT'T HANDLE IT." yeah of course i know i can't do well in lit but somehow there is this thing in me that convinces me that i cant be THAT bad in literature (although the fact is that i have never taken literature for the 'O's). i vaguely remember myself going up on stage to receive a 'Best in Literature' award during a certain Speech Day. Mrs Sally Tang must have mixed up my name with someone else's, though i don't deny i like the way the plaque seats on top of my table right now. *wahahah*

BUT STILL. the fact is that i failed my PC essay while the others could pass and get fairly good grades considering it was their first try. i am getting more and more convinced that literature is not my cup of tea. i should say i had already been convinced since Sec 2 when i didn't opt to take Literature, it's just this complacent streak in me that keeps telling me to take up 4 A level subjects (though it was partly due to my father's persuasion). i guess i will just wait and see if my results for the upcoming common test is satisfactory. if it turns out to be history, then BYE BYE history. i do feel a tinge of guilt towards the kind old Mr Das back in Hai Sing. i really do. *sobx*

During the Econs Remedial today, Peiling suddenly threw me this question,: "aye Xinyi you better confess ar. you already started studying for the exams rite!?"

i was stunned for a few moments before replying that i hadn't time to study at all since i was enjoying myself in China for past 9 days. i don't think she heard what i said though. but what made me puzzled was how did she ever think that i am THAT hardworking?

i think it must be because i somehow miraculously manage to finish all my homework on time. but like i've said before, finishing homework and being hardworking are totally different matters. whatever it is, it is confirmed that i have successfully (though not intentionally) set up the image that i am a hardworking mugger in the class. and this adds to the stress. firstly to live up to expectations and secondly to try to remove that image of mine.

ok. the real mugging begins. but not before i meet up with my PW group members for research tomorrow. awww.. and i was thinking of storming orchard rd for my Ageha CD. never mind it's even more beneficial if we get a good grade for PW. and we are using my PI for the GPP, which makes me even more uptight about the whole issue because i expect a tankful of questions to be thrown at me since i am the creator of the topic. the creator with a speech disorder. darn.

GOGOGO XINYI!!!!

oh, i found a really uhrm... 'interesting' extract when i was researching for my GP reading articles.

"Singapore has done well initially because of its port, which has allowed it to put into place alot of programs. it has also done well because it was given a population that 90% was uneducated (read: easy to manipulate) and 10% were greedy (read: willing to accept anything so long as they get paid). So, with a great leader (SM Lee) this pond of a nation has done very well."

i am not a totally devoted and hot-blooded Singaporean, i must admit, but my blood really boiled when i read this extract(maybe i am more patriotic than i thought i was *wahaha*). who is to say that Singapore's success is solely due to our demographical factors? who is to judge that Singaporeans were greedy and easily manipulated. more importantly, how can a foreigner make such statements when he isn't even part of the country?

sure he may be right in certain ways but isn't the growth of a nation accounted to the work of all its people? all countries started out with uneducated people seeking out opportunities to make it big, but most of them aren't as successful as Singapore is today. and if these particular group of uneducated people are smart enough to make it to Singapore and THRIVE, it proves that there is something more than the quality of the people themselves. this fella is obviously not making full use of his inference skills and common sense when he made this statement. man, am i boiling.

ok over with this. now that i am done with my reading articles, i've got the 4 Econs essays and 2 data-responses to work on. oh! i am suppose to compile the literature research for PC too! man... only 3 kind souls have submitted their work so far.. 17 more to chase and pester. ARGHH!!!!

it's ok. i shall keep my cool. the others have their own stuff to do too. but i do pray that they'll hurry up. *sobx*

how i wish that i am still in china and far away from all this stupid workload. i keep getting distracted and the only work i've completed today is my GP essay and reading articles. talk about concentration. mine's dwindling away~~



記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。