argh

currently listening to: Gift [w-inds.]

god i am dying.
i can't concentrate.
my concentration span is only 5 minutes.
how am i gonna pass my ct.
how am i gonna pass my promos.
how. how. how.
even w-inds. is distracting me!
this is unfair.
you are suppose to improve as you grow older.
why am i deproving??
i can't mug.
i feel like sleeping all the time.
my head hurts.
my thoughts stray when i stare at the econs homework.
tell me why we have to write so much for a single question.
tell me why i get irritated after writing one paragraph.
i am copying from the book.
nothing's entering my brain.
and i personally think that the book is useless.
it's blabbering on and on about the same things.
and i have to elaborate on the same things over and over.
what kinda econs bible is that.
i need a proper textbook.
the teachers are not doing anything to my brain.
it's getting worse.
i'm getting senile.
the things i write don't answer the question at all.
how can i be convinced that it is a good piece of work.
if it isn't a good piece of work then why i am i doing it.
this frustrates me.
i haven't started on history.
the file is as thick as my POA textbook.
and it's only ONE single topic.
this is not working out for me.
i hate JC life.
but this is a senseless complaint.
nothing can get me out of JC right now.
it's either JC or risk being chased out onto the streets.
i feel so pathetic.
i hate studying.
let me burn all my books!!!
ct is in 2 weeks.
my mind is still in a mess.
it simply refuses to work.
i have no motivation.
i want my motivation!!
hurry up and enter my life lahh!
i want my 2004 back !!!

blah this is stuupid.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。