PAE 1AD2 2005

currently listening to: Taisetsu Na Negai [Nanaka 6/17]

05A02, just like 1AD2, is a small class with very few guys, and everyone speaks english. quite slack, and likes to chat around alot, plus everyone seems to have many many friends, just like 1AD2. funny how i thought my new class in TPJC would be different from my class in ACJC. i'm starting to realize that these are characteristics of Arts classes.

but the people in 05A02 are quite nice, though sometimes i can't fit into their conversations cuz ALL OF THEM ARE FROM FIRST 3 MONTH in TPJC EXCEPT FOR ME and another new girl, Lynette. nonetheless, they gave me a rather nice first impression and proved to be quite a fun class at times. the way they were so spontaneous during lessons are kinda entertaining and enriching for me. so i'm ok there. =)

still, i'm trying to adjust to the way everything works and how everyone is like in the class. i hope everything works out. *worries*

during this whole week of adjustment period, i thought about 1AD2 many times. it's kinda inevitable cuz i had spent 3 months with them and i always have the bad habit of liking to compare things. i realized that, in fact, i miss them alot.

it's kinda ironic to feel this way, isn't it? since my first few weeks in ACJC weren't really happy ones. but as i recollect, it seems that i had, in fact, grown use to the way 1AD2 works and suddenly when i enter a whole new class, the system just doesn't fit anymore. though both classes are similar in many ways, the feeling is different.

i didn't pause to give much though about this cuz i was determined not to regret entering TPJC (not that i do now, but i'm just afraid that excessive comparison may make it happen), but when i read the 1AD2 class blog (yes, we have one! check out my links.), the part of me which have grown used to 1AD2 moved. everything just came back to me.

the first lesson together, where everyone just huddled together and starting shooting 'hi! what's your name?' questions all at the same time, such that we had to repeat our names so many times to every person. and how there never seemed to be a full attendance during PE lessons (especially for swimming pe). how many times have we giggled over things at the void deck? and laugh ourselves silly at bryan's contact lenses and about minghui and alister? what about the number of times we repeated the phrase 'just whack!' when we were told to do something we had no idea how to start with? and the way all of us stoned while pretending to be really studious and attentive during lectures...

ahh... memories.

from a class of 16 people, the original class of 1AD2 only has 5 remaining original members left. everyone was sad, depressed and shocked that 1AD2 had seriously dissolved. i am too.

geraldine's right. none of us are seriously happy wherever we are now because we're not together anymore.

i'm gonna miss 1AD2 quite alot and i'm sure my life in TPJC's gonna be very different, but hopefully in a good way. i really can't tell. i thought i didn't like 1AD2 during the first few weeks with them, and seriously thought that my life was messed up. but it turned out that i miss them so much now and that my life in 1AD2 was actually a more exciting and memorable experience that not many students would have experienced.

why didn't i realize that? the people there are so fun and nice, hardly anyone talks bad about anybody. some moments we spent together may have seemed really boring then, but it was precisely because we were so bored and depressed about having to come to school that we really hung on to each other. and the happy moments were really... happy. =)

i must learn to not count my chickens before they are hatched.

3 months ago, i'd never imagine myself saying this... 1AD2 will live on in my heart. ACJC too.

forever.

moving on, some things have happened recently. things that i thought i have held in the most important place throughout these six years. things that should have had an impact on me, yet i didn't feel a thing at all. everything in my mind was about school, hsc friends and 1ad2. i tried to feel sad about the supposedly saddening piece of news but i couldn't. i didn't even blink (like i do when i'm undergoing any sort of emotional stuff. speed= 100times/minute.) when i heard the news, nor did i bow my head in disappointment. it was just pure acceptance, like when you read in the newspapers that Stranger X's house got broken into yesterday. so i think... maybe i've finally come out of my stubborn obsession.

i guess it's time to get a new watch.

still, i not regretting anything cuz i would never had become what i am today if not for it. i may not even bother to get into a JC even. haha. but right now, there's no more motivation for me to study so i guess i better start psyching myself into performing up to standard. i can't afford to mess up my A levels.

let go and just remember the things i'm suppose to remember. i'll remember you. =)

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。