Depressing Moments.

currently listening to: Make it Good [A1]

over the week, i've been sitting in front of the computer for too much, too long and too exhaustive a period reading assignment mails, newspaper articles and online lecture notes and forum discussions, that is all part of my homework.

supposedly homework. the teacher encouraged us to do it so i did. but i doubt i absorbed much with my eyes feeling as if a hundred cameras had aimed their flashes at me.

i managed to complete my homework that was due this week. it would have been something worthy of rejoicing only if i had bothered to start on my Econs 10-Yr-Series. i hereby declare a war between me and my Econs 10-Yr-Series-- i am determined not to let it touch me for as long as i can! *punches fist into the air*

BUT! i stand in unfavourable light of losing this war due to the depressing fact that my 'intelligence' has betrayed with a more than pathetic 6/25 for my very first Econs essay, propelled by the even more hurting fact that i had spent 45 minutes on a SINGLE 4-page essay and not managed to finish it in time.

Depressing Moment of the Week Rank No. 2.

what happened to History? had i been possessed by some unexplainable phenomenon when i took my History exams in HSC and managed to complete 2 essays (4-page total) within half an hour???

SOMETHING IS HAPPENING TO ME.

i can envision myself for the next 2 years, sitting in front of my study table and writing furiously away at some Econs essay question while taking occasional glances at the clock to 'encourage' me to speed up because there's only one minute left and i'm barely halfway through the essay. i predict that this event shall commence with the coming of Monday, where the workload for the week will pile itself up.. no, i mean 'miraculously appear' on my homework checklist to send me into a frenzy, where i will subconsciously tear out all of my hair and leave them lying in heaps on the ground.

despite my loud declaration to Pipi that i shall be completing 10 Econs essay over the weekend, i have absolutely no idea how i can finish even a single Econs essay when i can't even understand a thing about the topic. -____-

to summarise the whole of this week in one sentence: a combination of late nights, near-blind eyes, aching arms, embarrassing debate and nosiness on my part (which kind of landed me into a fix). i shall not elaborate on the part on late nights and near-blind eyes, and i'll hit you if you harp on it.

there was this literature debate on Silas Marner and i was unfortunately chosen to be one of the 3 debaters on the side of Raveloe (probably because i was one of the few who actually finished the book. it doesn't pay to be hardworking. i'm telling you.). and yep you guessed it right. I MESSED IT UP.

it started off fine. i was downplaying the points made from the opposition with quite convincing arugements i would say. but as i proceeded on with the points i was going to counter, i went further.... and further... and further.... away from the question. I WENT OUT OF POINT.

we were suppose to support our view that Raveloe will become a 'vibrant and properous society'. i listened to the opposition going on about Lantern Yard being the possibility instead, and noted down all the points that was NOT CORRECT. finally i stood up to talk my piece. i did argued how their points were not correct but...

wrong point: Silas found fellowship in Lantern Yard more than he can in Raveloe.
i said: it isn't true. Silas was betrayed in Lantern Yard, and the Raveloe people comforted him.
the argument: Raveloe is more likely to develop into a 'vibrant and prosperous' society.

now how does the fact that Silas finding fellowship in Raveloe contribute to a 'vibrant and prosperous' society? it was only halfway through my argument that i realised that i went out of point.

we lost the debate in the end. although nobody blamed me, or made any move to imply that i was in the wrong, or gave me irritated looks, i knew that we lost the debate because of me.

that was Depressing Moment of the Week Rank No.1.

next, Depressing Moment of the Week Rank No.3. - the Choir Alumni Meet was SCREWED UP. don't ask. i'm worried that there may not be an alumni performance after all.

these are the Top 3 of the long list of Depressing Moments of the Week. *tears out hair* i am an optimist turning realist turning pessimist.

BUT! i shall be motivating myself towards to RELEASE OF w-inds.' FOURTH ALBUM ON 1/6!!! lalalalala~~~ this is the best thing that happened this week.

to satisfy my required weekly dosage of w-inds. :













dragging my feet to the study table. Project Work brainstorming coming up next.

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。