back from tpjc

currently listening to: 楽園 [DAI]

hello! i'm back from my hiatus.

yep, and as you can guess, my first two days in TPJC is over. hmm.. my thoughts and feelings? maybe it's because i wasn't there for the first 3 months, so there is this natural unfamiliarity with the surroundings and how things are operated there. the thought that struck me when i first stepped in the compound was : "this is so different from AC."

and i'm not talking about the surroundings, of course. it is the atmosphere there that's different. every morning when i was in AC, i had to walk this rather long path to the hall. during that time, everyone would be hurrying along and walking almost quietly (if they were walking alone, of course) towards the destination. every one of them looked as if they were, in fact, eager to get to the hall and start the day running. passing by the CF every wednesday and walking up the spiral staircase to the freezing hall. then i would sit quietly and stare at whatever that was being screened (news, soccer matches etc).

but when i stepped into TPJC, i was greeted by echoes and echoes of noise and laughter as everyone gathered at the benches as if they dread to get to the assembly point. maybe it was because pipi was beside me and it was a natural instinct to just shoot and talk about minor stuff on and on and on. perhaps the thing that made me feel so much at ease was that i was being surrounded by familiar faces, sounds and laughter.

yep. this was exactly how i felt. my first impression of TPJC. it was as if i should be there, studying in that school.

later on, when we got into our OGs, someone tapped me on my shoulder and i turned. i was shocked to see a familiar face that i had almost completely wiped out of my memories since the day i left RSS. and there she was asking me whether she was in the correct OG, Yi Ming from my Primary Four class in RSS.

then after that we got to know 2 more OG mates who were behind us. one of them from ACS(I) and another from first 3 months in ACJC. frankly, i never guessed that i would be meeting people from the AC family in TPJC. it was a rather pleasant surprise. but after that the four of us lost contact. this was apparently because all of us didn't want to stay with the OG (seriously speaking, i have never met OGLs who were that... unorganised? boring? whatever.).

in fact, after all the teachers had left the hall, almost half of the students stood up and headed for home while the OGLS up in front were trying desperately to entertain us and stop them from leaving as well. i was truly shocked by their attitude. i mean, i know it was a boring orientation but no one should disrespect anyone else who was just talking halfway, trying to reach out to you, but received such response instead.

it was understandable if no one wants to participate in the games, or take part in learning cheers and school songs, but the least you could do is to just leave the group discreetly and give the OGLs the minumum respect anyone should receive, instead of just walking away blatantly as if it was some kid in front singing 'twinkle twinkle little star'!

anyway, i joined the rest of the HSC ppl for the rest of the orientation. so i am guilty of not making many friends in TPJC. *sobx* come to think of it, i should. just like when i was in ACJC orientation, participation and the 'gung-ho' attitude was to key to making friends there. yep, so right now i'm kinda regretting it.

but come to think of it, exactly how many people went? everyone who had friends who were from the first 3 months there wanted to just stick to them and leave when they want to. it was just pure human nature. i would have done that if there were HSC ppl in ACJC, but there wasn't any, so i had to try my best to make as many friends as possible with an adopted 'gung-ho' attitude. perhaps not having friends there was a good thing, since it triggered my instinct to participate in order to make friends and survive in an alien setting.

but either way, there has to be some disadvantages. loneliness accompanied me many a time when i first started to try to make friends.

yep. so TPJC's still fine for them up till now. but for some funny reason, i just cannot visuaise myself spending 2 years there. not that i don't like it in TPJC of course, but i just cannot imagine 2 years there.

it was a habit for me to thnk of the events that will happen in the future as time passes. it was not just thinking about the possible events, but actually the entire scenario and the feel of it. for example, during ACJC orientation, i visualised myself in the future, meeting my classmates and spending 3 months with them. then when it finally happens, i imagined what it will be like when i finally survive the 3 months in ACJC. and i'm always amazed at the degree of accuracy of my visualisation or prediction. even in HSC, when i was told to imagine the day when i receive my results, i could do it and it was almost similar to actual event.

but this time, i cannot visualise myself in TPJC. is this a bad omen? is Someone trying to tell me something?

i'm hoping it's just because i've not been in the school long enough.

anyway, you will not believe the combination that i'm taking. i feel as if i'm doomed for my A levels with such a combination. but my father was all for it and i'm hanging on to the fact that i can drop one of the subjects when i find serious problems with it.

Economics, History, Literature, A-level Chinese, AO Math, General Paper.

4 As, 2 Aos. this combination may seem normal, like any other person taking 4 A level subjects. but in fact, it's harder. besides the fact that i'm in the extremely risky Arts course, i have AO math to handle. although it's considered an AO subject, it actually requires the same amount of effort to be put into a A level subject. and the most important thing is... I AM A MATH IDIOT.

seriously, even my brother said that my math standard is below average. and i've heard that History at A Level is enough to KILL so even if i have the interest in the subject... ahem. my history grades in ACJC aren't doing much to comfort me either.

there's nothing to say about economics,literature and GP. they are new subjects to me so the chances of doing well in it? it's like asking you to bake a cake when you have never baked one before. yes, you may have the recipe, and a cake will definitely be the end product, but will it be a nice one?

GP is definitely a serious problem with my below average english standard. and there's also Project Work to be done. i seriously need to work on my time management.

plus there's still A level Chinese, which i'm not exactly sure if i can handle. if you think my Chinese standard is good, let me just tell you that it's different in A Level Chinese. Tang Poems? Song Prose? WEN YAN WEN???

oh man.

even though i'm gonna drop one of the subjects probably after a year, i'm hoping that they won't affect my promotional exams this year. what if i didn't manage to get promoted?? I'D RATHER DIE!!!

this means lotsa mugging. but this time, the mugging won't be for good grades, it would just be for passing the promos and not wasting one more year in loneliness. when does the hard work for good grades come in? perhaps next year, but let me think about it.

oh, and with my combination, school ends even later than 4 PM EVERYDAY!!!!

ARGHH!!!!!!!!!

this is gonna be one tough year. but right now, let me just worry about meeting my new classmates. what will it be like? somehow, i cannot visualise. but pray for me!!! i hope to find good friends...

and if you wanna know where some of my really good friends went to...

xinwei's in anderson junior college!
tingxu's in temasek junior college!
pipi's in tampinese junior college! yay!
judy's in info comm in tp!
alrina's in biomed in sp!
michelle's in biomed in rp! (appealing i think)
juliana's in meridian junior college!
regina's in serangoon junior college! (APPEALING!)
yoke ling's in nanyang academy of fine arts!
liping's in meridian junior college!
hazel's in chemical engineering in tp! (also appealing i think)

preparing myself for life in tpjc... walk with me!!!

記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。