currently listening to: Suteki Da Ne [Final Fantasy X]

talk about not having enough determination-- the holidays have taken it away. one minute i was staring at my notes, telling myself that i would seriously start compiling my notes, when the laptop beside me caught my eye and pronto! i'm here with my blog.

i'm rather pleased to announce that i am now an inch (maybe 2 inches) closer to my classmates since the day before yesterday. Zhen Yin had her friends crashing into ACJC so i hung around my classmates like i should be. they weren't that bad, most of them are easy to talk to (though i don't try to hold on to our conversations), and we have some private class jokes to share already. like the time when Cavell took us to LT5 by the back door and we ended up being the earliest and only class in the LT, while all the other classes were still waiting foolishly outside the LT. we had a good laugh over us apparently being 'smarter' than the others, and subjecting ourselves to the extreme coldness of the LT (i coincidentally forgot my jacket that day too) where we had to switch jackets with each other repeatedly to keep ourselves warm.

basically it's a nice class, though sometimes due to inevitable circumstances i will end up feeling a little left out of their conversations. but i think i'll have to bear with it cause all i'm going to be doing the following weeks would be to sit through torturous lectures and boring tutorials with them until 0430 everyday.

ok maybe except for wednesday.

hopefully i'll get to be closer to them and everything, though i have become sort of an introvert in school now (you understand why). i'll jing liang!!!

i met up with xinwei, carine and tingxu after school last friday. being the earliest there, i walked around white sands, visiting the spots that we used to hang out so frequently. the first shop was Comics Connection (wahahaha). immediately i was reminded of the comic book sale last year where judy and i would spent hours (ok, not that bad) digging through the comic books for the greatest deals (jiehui hunted for her "Red Moon"), while xinwei and alrina would rot in a corner and subsequently develop a phobia of comic book sales.

i passed by Courts on my way up and images of "The Hunk" and "Spider Man" and "The Day After Tomorrow" appeared in my mind when the TV was actually screening some other unknown movie (it's been a LOOONG time since i went to the cinema). somehow we would always watch the same scenes on the TV whenever we passed by Courts and we would say, "har... hai zai zuo zhe ge ar... hen jiu liao leh!!!" i think this became part of our routine. *wahahaha*

then i went to popular, and recalled the time when tingxu and i were looking at the chess sets and telling each other the specific chess set that we wanted for our birthday so long ago. we took a long time to decide, especially for tingxu's western chess set. there were so many she could choose from while they was only one pathetic Go set that i can choose. *sobx* talk about being unfair.

i entered CD-Rama and was surprised that they had changed so much. the things i knew were at that spot weren't at that particular spot anymore. felt a little disappointed that things could change so much in such a short timespan of 3 months. i remember the first time i went to CD-Rama with Jiehui and she was looking for some kinda Celtic CD, and my thoughts at that time?? man, she has unique taste. *wahhahaha* (pipi!! dun bash me!!!)

i still had 20 minutes left so i decided to visit the library. the moment i walked through the sensors i recalled the time when xinwei's library book wasn't scanned properly and the sensors sounded when we walked through it. most of us had borrowed library books so we weren't sure whose book it was that had the problem so we walked back in one by one. *whahahaha* come to think of it, it was so funny. how come we didn't laugh as much then???

i saw that there were new postcards on the rack so i went to get some. there were haisians lunching at the cafe. it seemed as if i expected liping, yokes and michelle to walk into the library any minute and settle themselves onto the cafe chairs and chat away with the cafe workers while i sneak around them and try to steal some of their fries and wedges. i was, of course, always dealt with the tickles when caught, which was proudly executed by michelle.

the whole library was just filled with memories. every corner, every spot, everywhere. from frantically messing up the shelves for recipe books for the FNN project, to settling ourselves down in the junior section tables and end up being shooed by the librarians who were so fond of saying, "no studying in the library please." not to forget the time when my precious file was "confiscated" by the librarian and i sorta 'wasn't-very-polite-to-her' that tingxu kept reminding me of the unforgettable incident throughout the years.

i was looking through shakespeare's works (yes, i am desperate to UNDERSTANMD literature) when tingxu called to say carine and her had arrived. when i saw her and carine walking in the library, my mind went blank for a moment as i held on to the phone with my mouth opened like an idiot, staring at the 2 of them.

before i knew it i was trying to hold back my tears as i embraced the 2 of them. i can't explain the tears. it was their exclaimation of, "oh ! you've changed so much!! you're so black!! really leh!!" and the smile they had on their faces when they spotted me and they way the hurried towards me while i just stared at them for a few seconds before i rushed over too and the sheer joy of realising that i was then looking at their faces instead of at their sms-es in my handphone. it's everything. i felt as if i've recovered something i had lost, or maybe thrown away, because it had seemed to be too tattered and torn and had been there for so long that i forgot about it and its importance.

learn to lose before you learn to cherish.

we ate at Mcdonald's, talking about things that happened in our JCs and so on. there wasn't a single time i felt as if we have not seen each other for a long time because it just seemed so natural. it seems so natural to be there in Mcdonalds and laughing and joking about stuff, even though we were talking about our new environments. i just forgot that they are not my present schoolmates anymore.

then we went to CS and visited Judy, who seemed to be suffering from extreme boredom and tiredness of the shop.*whahaha* coincidentally we met Lee Tung at CS too, and we said i was black. *sobx* oh! and i met Jessica at White Sands too! working at the Bata store. and she said i was very black, like charcoal. *sobx*

after all these years, i am finally seriously considering the option of buying whitening lotion. all thanks to orientation. *clenches fist*

time flew as usual, and we parted. it was kinda depressing for me cuz i was immediately reminded of the fact that i will be going back to ACJC on monday, and that i will not have the time to meet up with my friends so often anymore. but somehow, it wasn't so bad already. at least i didn't remain depressed for the rest of the weekend. *whahaha*

thanks guys. =)

did i tell you that we had our choir alumni meeting at habbo.com.sg yesterday?? *wahhaha* habbo is so cute, you gotta add me as a friend if you wanna see exactly how black i've become. and we're still currently stuck on the name for the alumni. wouldn't "the alumni" sound cool?? nobody had ever used it before and i think it's nice!!! apparently no one is in favour of it though. *sobx* i think our first performance is for the CNY concert in HSC. i doubt i can make it though. school ends at 0430 on fridays for me and i doubt i can make it for the practices even if i mastered the art of flying. *sobx*

never mind. i just have to endure all these for 3 months. 3 months and i have all the time in the world. ok, maybe not all the time, but definitely more time than i have right now. and we're singing Suteki Da Ne?? i think so. not confirmed yet.

lectures and tutorials unti 0430pm in ACJC everyday... *sigh*


記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。