currently listening to: Yume No Basho He[w-inds.]

From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thy self thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel:
Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament,
And only herald to the gaudy spring,
Within thine own bud buriest thy content,
And, tender churl, mak'st waste in niggarding:
Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.

ok, let me formally announce that i haven't a single idea on how to approach this subject named Literature. thee? thou? thy? thine? art? what???

and i personally think it is humanly impossible to read every single article in the newspapers everyday in the limited time span that we have before we doze off on the bed.

lessons have been exhausting, and i am made to sit through a C Maths Lecture for the rest of my 3 months in ACJC. Logarithms? the topic is as complex as its name. i'm not even SUPPOSE to take C Maths, and the teacher is blabbering away as if every single one of us knows what's the difference between logarithms and lon (In) and... whatever.

i think i need tuition. definitely.

if you wanna talk about life in ACJC... have i told you about my class? 16 students, 5 guys, 11 girls, 4 SCGS girls (or issit 5?) and a female malay form teacher who claims that she came from a communist school and insists that she is only 6 months older than us all.

my relationship with my classmates? not a very close one. not that they dislike me or something, neither is it that i despise them, but it's just that i've been hanging out with a Kranji Sec girl, Zhen Yin, whom i met during the first day of school. she's also the only one from her school who entered ACJC so naturally we sorta clicked. so as you can guess, during all the free periods and all, i'm not spending time with my classmates but rather with Zhen Yin, who is not in my class. thus there isn't much chance for me to interact with them, and i'm getting rather worried about this.

of course, this doesn't mean that i don't like to hang out with Zhen Yin. it's ok, i feel at ease with her because she doesn't speak 'fake eng' and we can communicate in Mandarin most of the time, talking about all sorts of things in ACJC, being the only student there and etc. i feel more comfortable hanging out with her than anyone else whom i've met, for now.

but maybe i should really try to spend some time with my classmates, they are starting to click and i'm like the only one who's always not with them?? *sobx* i'll try to find a solution somehow. it doesn't mean i'm going to stop hanging out with Zhen Yin though.

GOD HELP ME.

and my mother going overseas for a business trip AGAIN at the end of this month, which means she can't send me to school every morning anymore. one and a half hour journey... i feel like dying.

i think my mother's arranging for a taxi to take me to the JC right now. i know what you guys must be thinking... taxi?? to school??? let me stress again that i defintely do not have as much dough as some people in the junior college, or even some of you. that's why i'm feeling... that i really shouldn't spend so much of my parents' money anymore. it's gonna cost a lot.

argh... guilt.


記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。