currently listening to: Pieces of a Dream [Chemistry]

watching an episode from Zoe Tay's travels yesterday, i suddenly had a yearning to go to barcelona.

yeah you're right, i was TRYING to study yesterday and when all i could cram into my mind of one page of Physics MCQs before my brain broke down into a series of splitting headaches, i settled down and stared at the television, which was featuring Zoe Tay's trip to Barcelona.

you cannot imagine how appealing the sights in Barcelona was to me. i wanted to grab my passport and demand money from my father then fly there immediately and...

I WENT THERE!!!

i stared at the peaceful town right before my eyes and walked straight to the seaside where there was only tranquility and no one else. what an amazing feeling... i felt the cool wind blowing my hair about (which i had stupidly let down) as if it was some candle flame in the wind, but i couldn't care less. then right in front of me i saw a group of turtles crawling out of the sea!!

i was so excited about witnessing the scene i had been so familiar with in books, when, out of nowhere, an eagle swept down and i screamed.

a dream.

darn, i knew it was too good to be true. and it would have been a good dream if not for that stupid eagle!

reality hit me like it had never hit me before. exactly how many times have i been disappointed just as i thought success was near? exactly how many times have i been forced to do something i didn't like for the benefit of something else?

all my life.

waiting for something i'm not even sure of myself, stupidly believing that some people will never change and remain their sweet and understanding self, forcing myself to perform for something so indefinite that it becomes so scary at the thought of not being able to achieve it.

but maybe i should stop being a pessimist, and hit the books once again. maybe when this year is over, the answer would be revealed.




記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。