currently listening to: Jewel of Kiss [Shimatani Hitomi]

feel a little guilty now.

why? it's not really my fault but i just feel that since i am part of this family, i should be considered as one of the 'baddies' too.

this indonesian maid of mine has worked in my house for around 4 months. her inability to comprehend any of our languages has led my family members to the final decision that she shall be sent back home.

i agree that the language barrier is a huge problem, plus the fact that she does not seem to have much common 'city sense', having stayed in a backward village for so long. so the events that unfolded during these four months were rather unbearable, a little humorous and most of the time annoying, owing to the fact that once she makes a mistake, my mother, grandmother and aunts would scream their heads off at the poor girl.

she has worked hard these few months, but the gap between a modern city dweller and a backward villager is simply too large and would take too much time to overcome. unfortunately, my family members do not have the patience, and they are sending her back tomorrow.

despite the fact that i agree with their thinking that she cannot work for long in my household, i simply cannot stand the fact that they are going to just send her back to the agency tomorrow, without even INFORMING her, and employ another maid instead. so you can expect her shocked expression when my mother march her to the agency tomorrow. the poor girl won't even know what is going on!!!

my efforts to intervene in such an unfair situation is futile. my mother simply rebukes that she knows what to do and needs no instruction from a KID like ME. yet in a corner of my mind, i feel really guilty towards this indonesian maid of mine, because i am absolutely helpless about her plight, and being a part of this 'cruel' family of mine makes me rather uneasy and not exactly comfortable.

i don't want to insult my own family.

sigh.

she's going off tomorrow... what shall i do? or rather, what CAN i really do...


記憶は明日のために強さになるものだよ。きっと。